Identity and Happiness

Having a chronic illness changes everything. Whether it’s mild or severe, it definitely changes you as a person. Before I got sick I was just like any other carefree teenager with no worries at all besides school. I didn’t think I was invincible but I never thought something would happen to me. When I first got sick I thought it would go away eventually but then days turned into weeks which turned into months and now years. It took 4 years for me to get officially diagnosed with Gastroparesis after dealing with multiple ER and doctor visits, hospitalizations which led to TPN and a NJ tube. During those years my identity was lost. I was young and sick and that’s all my life revolved around. Prior to my official diagnosis I noticed that I was losing myself to this illness and I shouldn’t be letting it do that to me. It has already taken so much from me, I can’t let it take my identity. I’m daughter, a sister, a friend, a student, a future nurse practitioner, a crafter, a furbaby mama (hehe) but I am NOT Gastroparesis. I am still the same person I was before but better and improved. Now I do not take anything for granted and enjoy the little things in life. I treasure each moment I have with my friends and family. As difficult as it has been to be sick so young I’m grateful for what it has taught me about life. I’ve met some of the most beautiful souls on this journey and have made the greatest friendships with people around the world who I wouldn’t have met if I never got sick. I could be bitter and depressed all the time about what being sick has done to my life but I refuse to let it take away my happiness. I hope to one day feel great enough to venture out and do things out of my comfort zone, have amazing adventures with my friends and family and meet some of those close friends I’ve made from this journey. I may not choose what happens to me in this life but I can choose how I react. I choose to be happy. I choose to be the same Cindy I was before getting sick.